Which story?

The weather in Rhode Island has been vile - rainy and cold most days. In spite of the gloom yesterday, Mary and I set out to buy the annuals I plonk into the garden to give it some color. Gerry was the gardener, and I just try to put a few things in that will give it color through the summer - I can manage impatiens and petunias, and that's about it. I did a Google search to find a plant center nearby, not in the mood for a long trek (I have become SUCH a Rhode Islander when it comes to driving more than 15 minutes) and found one down in Cranston.

The moment we entered the store (which was woefully stocked) the proprietor couldn't stop talking about how miserable the weather was and how it was ruining his business. He kept talking about what he didn't have - how even his greenhouses were full of rotting plants - it really was very sad and I appreciated how hard this must be for him, and I really wanted to help him out. I was willing to be shown some alternatives to petunias (there were flats of dahlias and pansies) and I wanted to ask him some questions, but truly - he couldn't pause long enough in his tale of woe to listen to me.

Finally, feeling really sorry for him, we picked up a couple of hanging pots (which actually looked great) and a couple of flats of impatiens. I would have bought more if he'd been able to actually sell me something instead of just moan about how his business had been ruined. But as I pulled out my wallet, he shook his head and said that he was a cash only business (and of course, I had no cash). There were no signs to that effect posted anywhere. Even at that moment, if he had said "So sorry for the inconvenience, but there's an ATM right down the street" I would have trotted off and brought back the cash.

Mary and I were laughing when we got back in the car and drove away empty handed, but really - it was terribly sad. He couldn't do anything but keep repeating his sad story and he missed multiple opportunities to make a sale - if he'd put even an ounce of effort in, he might have made a three figure sale - I was in the mood to buy flowers and he did have some stuff, and it looked pretty good - he could have persuaded me to branch out from petunias if he'd spent a fraction of the time he spent whining to actually try to do business.

I heard the term "problem saturated story" a few years ago when I did some work with Larry Peers of the Alban Institute. It started my interest in narrative theology, how the story we tell reflects what we believe, and how what we believe affects our story. Never have I heard a more problem saturated story than yesterday in that that unhappy man's plant store. And that made me think about the stories we tell in congregations and how many opportunities we may miss to connect with newer members (maybe even long time members) because we're so focused on telling our sad, problem saturated stories, over and over again.